Man Vs. Coachella
The first edition of Coachella 2013 is just days away, and the margins are tight. For 99% of you those 72 hours will be bananas, but one wrong move could leave you broken and lost, with a mouthful of polo field. To that end, we thought we’d go all out survival tactics for Coachella first timers! Read, take heed, and most of all SURVIVE!
1. First things first. It’s going to be 90°…act accordingly.
2. Wear sunscreen! UV is your kryptonite.
3. For the love of God, no flip-flops.
4. You’re in the desert, which means hot days and cold nights. Note the italics. That means a bikini to hoodie ratio of 1:1, people.
5. Your body is a temple, treat it like one! (Temples need food, water and a good sit down now and again)
6. Ibuprofen can be a lifesaver for muscle aches, accidental sunburn, or headaches.
7. Which leads us quite nicely to DRUGS. If you take them to the festival and get caught, you’ll miss all the lovely music. Don’t miss all the lovely music.
8. If you’re planning to push your way up front, expect to be hated. It’s the unwritten code of any festival; thou shalt not push to the front. If you’re desperate to get as close to the band as possible, go around the side, and make your move in between sets.
9. Take a photo of your contact details! That way, if your iPhone or camera goes missing, the good folks at lost and found will have your digits. Who knows, you might even get a date out of it.
10. Use the clash finder! Stage times aren’t available yet, but most likely later this week you’ll be able to use the Coachooser to plan your weekend. Don’t go travelling all that way to miss out.
11. The portaloo holy trinity: hand sanitizer, seat covers and toilet paper. When the time comes, you’ll find new meaning for the word ‘lifesaver’.
12. Yes, the person dancing behind you is being sandpapered by your rucksack. Leave it at home!
13. For the allergic amongst you, come prepared. The dry grass and dust in the air is out to get you.
14. By all means, you can drink a lot of alcohol. Just don’t end up like this guy.
15. Don’t forget condoms.
What have we missed? Comments below!